All About Donghoonie ^_^

—What does a shaved head mean to you? It’s what I did when I was down in a slump. It was extreme, around 2005 to 2006 (around the time Haha started to get popular and was doing well in terms of his career and TV appearances). It was the toughest time of my life. I went on a show called “War of the Roses” and it was my first variety show, so I pretended to be cool, and it went really well. The female cast liked me. I went to night clubs, girls would pick me, everything was going well. I took the love I received for granted, and I didn’t prepare my next steps… Then, my friends, MC Mong and Hongchul became popular. I was okay because I was happy for them, but people kept pushing me, and articles were written too. I would go to the studios and people would ask if I’m okay — “I’m alright.” I was pushed into a corner and started to feel sorry for myself. I went on a show with them and they were better than me… I lost my confidence. All I had was confidence, I lost it all and I went down… ah, I couldn’t believe it. I started to wander in the dark. It lasted around 18 months. I was asked to appear on TV but I was too scared to, I felt like I had to show something better. I was scared that I couldn’t do even that.

I was most scared when I thought about what I was good at: I wasn’t good at anything. So that’s when I shaved my head. I felt like no one would like me even if I looked good. I just felt rebellious. I didn’t do it to show that I was starting over, I was just frustrated, I didn’t blame myself but others. That photo, I’m not even frowning. It’s a passport photo, there was no need for me to look charismatic; I just lived like that for a year and a half. It’s the result of when I’m not a person that’s needed. But then, someone gave me hope at that time. I had been drinking soju with friends at Apgujeong, when Yoo Jae Suk-sshi and someone else came. He came over and… I had never seen Jae Suk hyung before then, I had never even bumped into him before. So Jae Suk hyung goes, “Oh? Hey, Haha!” And I thought — I wanted to own him, I wanted him. I felt like I had to become close to him. I’m sure he didn’t know that I was down at that time, but this one greeting gave me great hope, I wanted to run around! Once, I invited him to my home and looked at him from behind for ages. I almost hugged him from behind! He makes me cry, he made me a human again.

He’s more precious to me than myself. Do you know how it feels? More precious than myself. He’s wonderful, he’s amazing. Jae Suk hyung may scold me if he sees this, but it’s the truth.

me : I don’t know why… but this is make me cry